journal mi

 …the heart leaps A kindred spirit is close. Different personalities but same core Same backbone, different gloss.   Beyond the surface Beyond dollars and bread Beyond fronting and coding Beyond wig and selfies.   Authentic, vulnerable and safe Errors rebuked but covered. Intense, consistent and deliberate Tender.   Zero performance required Just honesty and willingness to grow Broken but beautiful Broken and beautiful 'Funmilayo Akinwale #GreenNotes (29.09.2020)

Sin is my claim to my right to myself. Sin is me trying to be God. It is a disposition.   A disposition that does not acknowledge that I am only the breath of God and dust. A disposition to live by my own terms, and not on the terms of the God who created me. The disposition of sin is not limited to immorality and wrong-doing. It is the disposition of self-realization – I am my own god! I can do things, the way I want!   The good news is that God sent His son to take that disposition away. The disposition of wanting to do things my way - as if I created myself and put myself on this planet. Another sweet part is that once I acknowledge that God owns me, and I agree to live on His terms, His Spirit begins to work righteousness in me. He does the work, on my inside. He has no respect for my temperament or preferences. He takes over my life, completely!   But can you imagine the creator of the world taking over your life? Can you imagine...

 Dear Runner, Where to this time? Mali? Ghana? East Africa? Dubai? Or is it the UK? Does the thing you are running away from, deserve all the visa processing wahala?   “I’m not running, I’m seeking.” Seeking for What? Seeking What? “For third second chances.” “I’m tired.” “I need a re-start.”   How many re-starts will you scout for in a lifetime? “As many as I need.” “I will continue running (Oops, no. Seeking - till I find).” “May God help me find.”   What are you actually seeking for? “Home.” Is home on this side of eternity? “A type of home – yes!”   You have run from friends, family, ex-colleagues, neighbours When will you stop? How would you stop? Who would help you stop? Why should you stop? Should you stop? Stop!   ‘Funmilayo Akinwale Green Notes (3.10.2020)

I went to church from childhood but was not very active. In my teenage years, I became more active and participated in all the prescribed classes - discipleship, baptismal class, choir etc. At some point in secondary school, I believed that it wasn't cool to be a Christian, so I was just nominal and admired those who I thought lived the ‘fun and cool’ life. Somehow, because I was small in size and younger than my classmates, I was usually considered a baby and not old enough to participate in the 'cool’ stuff! I remember that all I was looking forward to post-secondary school, was to get admitted into the University of Lagos, with the hope that I will be able to do all the ‘cool’ things! Then JAMB and my dad insisted that I attend a private Adventist University, Babcock University! I cried blood - " You guys don't love me!". How will I get to do all the adventurous and cool things in a university   that doesn't allow jewellery or give you freedom to go i...

I am clearer as to why people see me as different.   I love reading about Presidents/CEOs and Biographies; soft sells can wait!   I rarely watch Kim, E or Food network. By default my remote goes to CNN, BBC, Channels, Aljazeera and the likes. Boring? #Stalegist   Talking about hair, make-up, parties, clothes or shoes for hours? That is not my thing!   Have I mentioned that I’m no good at small talk? For me, it is absolutely okay to be quiet. Silence is my friend.   My heart is attached to macro issues. I don’t have a second to spare in the support of racism or tribalism. Nkan to n se mi poju be lo! My favourite conversations are related to God, Education, Governance, Speeches, Conflict Resolution; Israel-Palestine, Syria, Stopping Boko Haram, the Marine, the Seal, bringing an end to exam mal-practice in Nigeria and Love. If you spend time engaging in activities that don’t work for me, it is absolutely okay as long as it works for you. All we nee...

Peoples’ fathers selling their souls for Naira. Naira! The only value they have, the only thing they respect, the only god they fear! Wicked men! Their god is their belly! Greedy men! It’s ok for their children to disown them Because they will bring curses and ruin to their children and children’s children With no plan for the people, Yet scrambling to get there at whatever means possible. There is no cost too huge With zero fear of God and conscience sold for gold, their only ambition is to amass wealth for their 10 th generation. They oppress the poor and ravage the crumbs of the masses. Pollute all our Systems they must. All across the Executive, Judiciary, Legislature, Ministries and Federal parastatals, they forbid integrity and order. Worst still, in order to woo undiscerning ‘religious’ Nigerians, they lie under God’s name! Repent ye Nigerian politician! If not, you will know no rest, sorrow and sad news will flood you like a river!! Sic...

Life is in phases. As a child, you believe. Anything is possible. Your mouth runs, your dreams fly. You are yourself! No inhibitions! No fears maybe the fear of physical pain. Then the teenage years.   All that matters is acceptance. "Feeling among". Being like your friends. The tug: Being relevant or Being left out. In their teens, most people lose their individuality. When teen rolls by, "I" has been traded for "they". Only for a few does self remain. For these few  The question still lingers : Who am i? Why am i here? They know they are no groupies.                                               So they follow their instincts Follow their heart. Live as true to self as they can. For the child of God, there is a further ...